Final Project Fictional Character for Instructor Review and Approva

Chapter 12. Peer Review and Final Revisions

12.1 Revision

Learning Objectives

• Identify major areas of concern in the draft essay during revising
• Use peer reviews and checklists to assist revising
• Revise your paper to improve organisation and cohesion
• Decide an appropriate manner and tone for your newspaper
• Revise to ensure that your tone is consistent
• Revise the first draft of your essay and produce a final draft

Revising and editing are the two tasks you lot undertake to significantly meliorate your essay. Both are very important elements of the writing process. You may think that a completed get-go draft means that little comeback is needed. However, even experienced writers demand to improve their drafts and rely on peers during revising and editing. You may know that athletes miss catches, fumble balls, or overshoot goals. Dancers forget steps, plow besides slowly, or miss beats. For both athletes and dancers, the more they practise, the stronger their performance volition become. Spider web designers seek better images, a more clever design, or a more than highly-seasoned groundwork for their spider web pages. Writing has the same capacity to turn a profit from comeback and revision.

You should revise and edit in stages: do not expect to catch everything in i go. If each time you review your essay you lot focus on a dissimilar aspect of construction, yous will be more likely to catch whatsoever mistakes or identify any bug. Throughout this chapter, you volition see a number of checklists containing specific things to wait for with each revision. For instance, you will first await at how the overall paper and your ideas are organized.

In the second section of this chapter, you will focus more than on editing: correcting the mechanical issues. Also at the end of the chapter, you will see a comprehensive but more full general listing of things yous should be looking for.

Understanding the Purpose of Revising and Editing

Revising and editing allow you to examine ii important aspects of your writing separately, then that yous can requite each task your undivided attending.

When you revise , you take a second expect at your ideas. You might add, cut, motility, or change information in order to make your ideas clearer, more authentic, more interesting, or more convincing.

When you edit , you lot take a second look at how y'all expressed your ideas. You lot add together or change words. You ready any problems in grammer, punctuation, and sentence structure. Y'all improve your writing style. You lot make your essay into a polished, mature slice of writing, the end product of your all-time efforts.

Tip

How do you get the best out of your revisions and editing? Hither are some strategies that writers have developed to look at their first drafts from a fresh perspective. Try them throughout the writing process; then keep using the ones that bring results.

Take a pause. You are proud of what you wrote, but you might exist too close to information technology to make changes. Ready aside your writing for a few hours or fifty-fifty a day until you lot can wait at it objectively.

Ask someone you trust for feedback and constructive criticism.

Pretend you are one of your readers. Are you satisfied or dissatisfied? Why?

For many people, the wordscritic,critical, andcriticism provoke only negative feelings that brand them chroma, mumble, or shout. However, as a author and a thinker, yous need to learn to exist disquisitional of yourself in a positive way and have high expectations for your work. You also need to train your eye and trust your power to fix what needs fixing. To do this, y'all demand to teach yourself where to look.

Revising Your Paper: Organisation , Cohesion , and Unity

When writing a research paper, it is like shooting fish in a barrel to become overly focused on editorial details, such as the proper format for bibliographical entries. These details do matter. However, before you begin to address them, it is important to spend time reviewing and revising the content of the paper.

A good research paper is both organized and cohesive.Organization ways that your argument flows logically from 1 point to the next.Cohesion means that the elements of your paper work together smoothly and naturally. In a cohesive research paper, information from research is seamlessly integrated with the writer's ideas.

Revise to Improve Organization

When you revise to improve arrangement, you look at the period of ideas throughout the essay every bit a whole and within individual paragraphs. You check to encounter that your essay moves logically from the introduction to the body paragraphs to the decision, and that each section reinforces your thesis. Employ Checklist 12.1 : Revise for Arrangement to help you.

Checklist 12.1 : Revise for Organization

At the essay level

Does my introduction proceed clearly from the opening to the thesis?

Does each body paragraph have a clear main idea that relates to the thesis?

Do the principal ideas in the body paragraphs menses in a logical order? Is each paragraph connected to the one earlier it?

Practice I need to add or revise topic sentences or transitions to make the overall flow of ideas clearer?

Does my conclusion summarize my master ideas and revisit my thesis?

At the paragraph level

Does the topic judgement clearly land the master idea?

Do the details in the paragraph relate to the main idea?

Practice I need to recast any sentences or add transitions to improve the flow of sentences?

Jorge reread his typhoon paragraph by paragraph. As he read, he highlighted the main thought of each paragraph so he could encounter whether his ideas proceeded in a logical order. For the near part, the flow of ideas was clear. However, he did observe that i paragraph did not take a clear main thought. It interrupted the menstruum of the writing. During revision, Jorge added a topic sentence that clearly connected the paragraph to the 1 that had preceded it. He also added transitions to improve the flow of ideas from sentence to sentence.

Read the following paragraphs twice, the kickoff time without Jorge'southward changes, and the second time with them.

Self – practice EXERCISE 12.1

Follow these steps to brainstorm revising your newspaper'south overall organization.

Print out a difficult re-create of your paper. (Yous will utilise this for multiple cocky-practice exercises in this chapter.)

Read your newspaper paragraph past paragraph. Highlight your thesis and the topic sentence of each paragraph.

Using the thesis and topic sentences as starting points, outline the ideas y'all presented—just as you would practise if you were outlining a affiliate in a textbook. Practice not look at the outline yous created during prewriting. Y'all may write in the margins of your draft or create a formal outline on a separate sheet of paper.

Next, reread your newspaper more than slowly, looking for how ideas catamenia from judgement to judgement. Identify places where adding a transition or recasting a sentence would brand the ideas flow more logically.

Review the topics on your outline. Is there a logical period of ideas? Identify any places where you lot may need to reorganize ideas.

Begin to revise your paper to ameliorate organization. Start with any major issues, such every bit needing to motility an entire paragraph. And so proceed to minor revisions, such as adding a transitional phrase or tweaking a topic sentence and then it connects ideas more than conspicuously.

Optional collaboration: P lease share your paper with a classmate. Repeat the six steps and have notes on a split piece of paper. Share and compare notes.

Tip

Writers choose transitions carefully to evidence the relationships between ideas—for case, to make a comparison or elaborate on a point with examples. Brand sure your transitions suit your purpose and avert overusing the same ones.

Creating Coherence

Careful writers use transitions to clarify how the ideas in their sentences and paragraphs are related. These words and phrases help the writing menstruum smoothly. Calculation transitions is not the but way to improve coherence, but they are oftentimes useful and give a mature feel to your essays. Earlier chapters accept discussed using transitions for specific purposes in the planning of your writing.Table 12.i: Mutual Transitional Words and Phrases groups many common transitions co-ordinate to their purpose.

Table 12.1: Mutual Transitional Words and Phrases According to Purpose

Transitions That Show Sequence or Time
afterward	earlier	later
subsequently	earlier long	meanwhile
equally soon as	finally	side by side
at first	first, 2nd, third	soon
at last	in the first place	then
Transitions That Show Position
above	beyond	at the bottom
at the acme	behind	beneath
beside	beyond	within
near	next to	opposite
to the left, to the right, to the side	nether	where
Transitions That Prove a Conclusion
indeed	hence	in conclusion
in the final analysis	therefore	thus
Transitions That Continue a Line of Idea
consequently	furthermore	additionally
because	besides the fact	post-obit this idea farther
in addition	in the same way	moreover
looking further	because…, it is clear that
Transitions That Modify a Line of Thought
only	all the same	all the same
nevertheless	on the contrary	on the other paw
Transitions That Show Importance
above all	best	especially
in fact	more important	>most important
most	worst
Transitions That Innovate the Final Thoughts in a Paragraph or Essay
finally	final	in determination
most of all	least of all	final of all
All Purpose Transitions to Open Paragraphs or to Connect Ideas Inside Paragraphs
admittedly	at this point	certainly
granted	information technology is true	mostly speaking
in general	in this situation	no dubiety
no one denies	obviously	of course
to exist sure	undoubtedly	unquestionably
Transitions that Innovate Examples
for instance	for case	such equally
Transitions That Analyze the Order of Events or Steps
first, 2d, third	generally, furthermore, finally	in the showtime place, also, final
in the get-go identify, furthermore, finally	in the first identify, likewise, lastly

When Mariah (who you were introduced to in Capacity five and half-dozen) revised her essay for unity, she examined her paragraph nearly televisions to check for coherence. She looked for places where she needed to add a transition or perhaps reword the text to make the menstruum of ideas clear. In the version that follows, she has already deleted the sentences that were off topic.

Tip

Many writers make their revisions on a printed re-create and then transfer them to the version on screen. They conventionally utilise a pocket-sized pointer called a caret (^) to testify where to insert an addition or correction.

Self – exercise Do 12.2

Answer the post-obit questions about Mariah's revised paragraph.

Exercise you agree with the transitions and other changes that Mariah made to her paragraph? Which would you proceed and which were unnecessary? Explicate.

What transition words or phrases did Mariah add together to her paragraph? Why did she cull each one?

What effect does calculation additional sentences have on the coherence of the paragraph? Explicate. When you read both versions aloud, which version has a more logical flow of ideas? Explain.

Revise to Ameliorate Cohesion

When you revise to better cohesion, y'all analyze how the parts of your paper work together. You lot look for anything that seems awkward or out of place. Revision may involve deleting unnecessary cloth or rewriting parts of the newspaper then that the out of place material fits in smoothly.

In a research paper, bug with cohesion usually occur when a writer has trouble integrating source material. If facts or quotations have been awkwardly dropped into a paragraph, they distract or confuse the reader instead of working to support the writer'southward point. Overusing paraphrased and quoted textile has the same effect. Use Checklist 12.2 : Revise for Cohesion to review your essay for cohesion.

Checklist 12.2 : Revise for Cohesion

Does the opening of the paper clearly connect to the broader topic and thesis? Make sure entertaining quotes or anecdotes serve a purpose.

Take I included support from inquiry for each main point in the body of my paper?

Have I included introductory material before whatsoever quotations? Quotations should never stand alone in a paragraph.

Does paraphrased and quoted textile clearly serve to develop my own points?

Do I need to add together to or revise parts of the paper to aid the reader sympathise how certain information from a source is relevant?

Are at that place whatsoever places where I have overused material from sources?

Does my conclusion make sense based on the residual of the paper? Make sure any new questions or suggestions in the conclusion are clearly linked to earlier cloth.

As Jorge reread his draft, he looked to see how the dissimilar pieces fit together to prove his thesis. He realized that some of his supporting information needed to exist integrated more advisedly and decided to omit some details entirely. Read the following paragraph, showtime without Jorge's revisions and then with them.

Jorge decided that his comment about pizza and altogether cake came across as subjective and was non necessary to brand his point, then he deleted it. He too realized that the quotation at the end of the paragraph was awkward and ineffective. How would his readers know who Kwon was or why her opinion should be taken seriously? Adding an introductory phrase helped Jorge integrate this quotation smoothly and found the credibility of his source.

Self – practice EXERCISE 12.three

Follow these steps to brainstorm revising your newspaper to improve cohesion.

Impress out a hard copy of your paper, or work with your printout fromCocky – Exercise Exercise 12.1.

Read the torso paragraphs of your newspaper first. Each time you come to a identify that cites information from sources, enquire yourself what purpose this information serves. Check that information technology helps support a bespeak and that it is clearly related to the other sentences in the paragraph.

Identify unnecessary data from sources that you lot can delete.

Place places where you need to revise your writing then that readers understand the significance of the details cited from sources.

Skim the torso paragraphs one time more than, looking for whatsoever paragraphs that seem packed with citations. Review these paragraphs carefully for cohesion.

Review your introduction and decision. Make sure the data presented works with ideas in the body of the newspaper.

Revise the places you identified in your newspaper to improve cohesion.

Optional c ollaboration: P charter substitution papers with a classmate. Complete pace 4 . On a separate piece of paper, note any areas that would benefit from description. Return and compare notes.

Writing at Work

Understanding cohesion can also do good you lot in the workplace, especially when yous accept to write and deliver a presentation. Speakers sometimes rely on beautiful graphics or funny quotations to hold their audience's attending. If yous choose to use these elements, brand certain they work well with the substantive content of your presentation. For example, if you are asked to give a financial presentation, and the financial study shows that the company lost money, funny illustrations would not be relevant or appropriate for the presentation.

Tip

Reading your writing aloud will often help you find issues with unity and coherence. Mind for the clarity and period of your ideas. Place places where you find yourself confused, and write a note to yourself about possible fixes.

Creating Unity

Sometimes writers get caught upward in the moment and cannot resist a good digression. Fifty-fifty though yous might enjoy such detours when you chat with friends, unplanned digressions ordinarily harm a piece of writing.

Following your outline closely offers y'all a reasonable guarantee that your writing will stay on purpose and not drift away from the controlling idea. Still, when writers are rushed, are tired, or cannot notice the right words, their writing may go less than they want it to be. Their writing may no longer be clear and concise, and they may add together information that is not needed to develop the master thought.

When a piece of writing hasunity, all the ideas in each paragraph and in the unabridged essay clearly belong and are bundled in an guild that makes logical sense. When the writing hascoherence, the ideas flow smoothly. The diction clearly indicates how ane idea leads to another within a paragraph and from paragraph to paragraph.

Mariah stayed close to her outline when she drafted the three torso paragraphs of her essay she tentatively titled "Digital Technology: The Newest and the Best at What Toll?" But a recent shopping trip for an HDTV upset her enough that she digressed from the main topic of her third paragraph and included comments most the sales staff at the electronics store she visited. When she revised her essay, she deleted the off-topic sentences that affected the unity of the paragraph.

Read the following paragraph twice, the first time without Mariah'south changes and the 2d time with them.

Self – practice EXERCISE 12.4

Answer the post-obit two questions about Mariah's paragraph:

Do you concur with Mariah's decision to make the deletions she made? Did she cut likewise much, besides footling, or just enough? Explicate.

Is the explanation of what screen resolution ways a digression? Or is information technology audience friendly and essential to agreement the paragraph? Explain.

Collaboration: P lease share with a classmate and compare your answers.

Now, impress out another copy of your essay or use the printed version(south) you used in Self – Practice Exercises 12.i and 12.three . Reread it to find whatever statements that affect the unity of your writing. Determine how best to revise.

Tip

When you reread your writing to notice revisions to make, look for each type of problem in a carve up sweep. Read information technology direct through in one case to locate any bug with unity. Read it direct through a second time to find problems with coherence. You may follow this same practice during many stages of the writing process.

Writing at Work

Many companies hire copy editors and proofreaders to assist them produce the cleanest possible terminal drafts of large writing projects. Copy editors are responsible for suggesting revisions and style changes; proofreaders cheque documents for any errors in capitalization, spelling, and punctuation that accept crept in. Many times, these tasks are done on a freelance basis, with one freelancer working for a diversity of clients.

Using a Consistent Style and Tone

Once you are sure that the content of your newspaper fulfills your purpose, you lot tin begin revising to improvestyle andtone. Together, your style and tone create the vocalism of your newspaper, or how yous come beyond to readers. Fashion refers to the way you lot utilise language as a writer—the sentence structures you lot use and the word choices you make. Tone is the attitude toward your discipline and audition that you convey through your word option.

Determining an Appropriate Style and Tone

Although accepted writing styles will vary within different disciplines, the underlying goal is the same—to come up beyond to your readers as a knowledgeable, authoritative guide. Writing about inquiry is similar being a bout guide who walks readers through a topic. A stuffy, overly formal bout guide can brand readers experience put off or intimidated. Likewise much informality or humour can make readers wonder whether the bout guide really knows what he or she is talking about. Extreme or emotionally charged language comes across as unbalanced.

To help forbid being overly formal or breezy, determine an appropriate style and tone at the beginning of the research process. Consider your topic and audience because these can help dictate fashion and tone. For example, a paper on new breakthroughs in cancer research should be more formal than a newspaper on ways to go a good nighttime'southward slumber.

A strong research paper comes beyond as straightforward, appropriately bookish, and serious. It is generally best to avoid writing in the first person, every bit this can make your paper seem overly subjective and stance based. Use Checklist 12.3 : Revise for Style to review your newspaper for other bug that bear on style and tone. Y'all tin can check for consistency at the end of the writing procedure. Checking for consistency is discussed later in this department.

Checklist 12.iii : Revise for Style

My paper avoids excessive wordiness.

My sentences are varied in length and structure.

I accept avoided using kickoff person pronouns such every bit I and we.

I have used the agile voice whenever possible.

I have defined specialized terms that might be unfamiliar to readers.

I have used clear, straightforward language whenever possible and avoided unnecessary jargon.

My paper states my point of view using a balanced tone—neither too indecisive nor too forceful.

Word Pick

Notation that discussion choice is an especially important aspect of style. In addition to checking the points noted on Checklist 12.3, review your paper to make sure your language is precise, conveys no unintended connotations, and is free of bias. Here are some of the points to check for:

Vague or imprecise terms

Slang

Repetition of the same phrases ("Smith states…, Jones states…") to introduce quoted and paraphrased material (For a full list of strong verbs to use with in text citations, seeChapter nine: Citations and Referencing.)

Exclusive employ of masculine pronouns or awkward utilize ofhe or she

Use of language with negative connotations, such as haughty or ridiculous

Use of outdated or offensive terms to refer to specific indigenous, racial, or religious groups

Tip

Using plural nouns and pronouns or recasting a judgement can help you continue your language gender neutral while avoiding awkwardness. Consider the following examples.

• Gender biased : When a writer cites a source in the body of his paper, he must listing information technology on his references page.
• Awkward : When a writer cites a source in the body of his or her paper, he or she must list it on his or her references folio.
• Improved : Writers must listing any sources cited in the body of a paper on the references page.

Keeping Your Style Consistent

Equally you lot revise your paper, make certain your manner is consistent throughout. Wait for instances where a give-and-take, phrase, or sentence does non seem to fit with the rest of the writing. It is best to reread for style after you have completed the other revisions so that you are non distracted by any larger content issues. Revising strategies you can utilize include the post-obit:

Read your newspaper aloud. Sometimes your ears catch inconsistencies that your optics miss.

Share your paper with another reader whom you trust to give you honest feedback. Information technology is frequently difficult to evaluate 1's own style objectively—specially in the final phase of a challenging writing project. Another reader may be more likely to notice instances of wordiness, confusing language, or other bug that bear on mode and tone.

E dit your newspaper slowly, sentence by sentence. You may even wish to employ a sheet of paper to cover up everything on the page except the paragraph you are editing. This do forces you to read slowly and carefully. Marker any areas where you notice problems in style or tone, and and then take time to rework those sections.

On reviewing his paper, Jorge plant that he had by and large used an appropriately bookish style and tone. However, he noticed one glaring exception—his beginning paragraph. He realized there were places where his overly informal writing could come up across as unserious or, worse, disparaging. Revising his word choice and omitting a humorous aside helped Jorge maintain a consistent tone. Read his revisions.

Cocky – practise EXERCISE 12.5

Using Checklist 12.3 : Revise for Style , revise your newspaper line past line. Yous may use either of these techniques:

Print out a difficult copy of your newspaper or work with your printout fromSelf – Practice Practise 12.1. Read it line by line. Check for the issues noted on Checklist 12.three, besides as whatever other aspects of your writing style you have previously identified equally areas for comeback. Mark any areas where you notice problems in style or tone, and then have time to rework those sections.

If y'all prefer to piece of work with an electronic document, utilise the menu options in your give-and-take processing program to overstate the text to 150 or 200 percent of the original size. Make sure the blazon is large plenty that you tin can focus on one paragraph at a fourth dimension. Read the paper line by line as described in footstep 1. Highlight whatever areas where you lot notice problems in style or tone, and and then take fourth dimension to rework those sections.

Optional c ollaboration: P lease exchange papers with a classmate. On a separate slice of newspaper, note places where the essay does not seem to menstruum or you accept questions about what was written. Return the essay and compare notes.

Completing a Peer Review

After working so closely with a piece of writing, writers often need to step back and ask for a more objective reader. What writers need most is feedback from readers who can answer only to the words on the page. When they are ready, writers show their drafts to someone they respect and who can give an honest response nigh its strengths and weaknesses.

You lot, too, tin can enquire a peer to read your draft when it is ready. Afterward evaluating the feedback and assessing what is nigh helpful, the reader'southward feedback will help you when you revise your draft. This process is chosenpeer review.

You tin can work with a partner in your grade and identify specific ways to strengthen each other's essays. Although you may be uncomfortable sharing your writing at commencement, remember that each writer is working toward the same goal: a last draft that fits the audience and the purpose. Maintaining a positive attitude when providing feedback will put you and your partner at ease. The box that follows provides a useful framework for the peer review session.

Questions for Peer Review: Organisation, Unity, and Coherence

Title of essay: ____________________________________________

Engagement: ____________________________________________

Author's name: ____________________________________________

Peer reviewer'due south proper noun: _________________________________________

This essay is about____________________________________________.

Your main points in this essay are____________________________________________.

What I most liked most this essay is____________________________________________.

These 3 points struck me equally your strongest:

Point: ____________________________________________
Why: ____________________________________________

Betoken: ____________________________________________
Why: ____________________________________________

Signal: ____________________________________________
Why: ____________________________________________

These places in your essay are not articulate to me:

Where: ____________________________________________
Needs comeback because__________________________________________

Where: ____________________________________________
Needs improvement because ____________________________________________

Where: ____________________________________________

Needs improvement considering ____________________________________________

The one additional change you could make that would amend this essay significantly is ____________________________________________.

Writing at Work

1 of the reasons why word processing programs build in a reviewing feature is that work groups accept become a common feature in many businesses. Writing is frequently collaborative, and the members of a work grouping and their supervisors often critique grouping members' work and offering feedback that volition pb to a better concluding product.

Self – practice Practice 12.half-dozen

Substitution essays with a classmate and consummate a peer review of each other'southward draft in progress. Call up to give positive feedback and to be courteous and polite in your responses. Focus on providing 1 positive comment and one question for more information to the author.

Using Feedback Considerately

The purpose of peer feedback is to receive effective criticism of your essay. Your peer reviewer is your offset existent audience, and you lot accept the opportunity to learn what confuses and delights a reader so that you tin can ameliorate your piece of work before sharing the final typhoon with a wider audience (or your intended audience).

It may non be necessary to comprise every recommendation your peer reviewer makes. However, if you start to observe a pattern in the responses you receive from peer reviewers, yous might want to consider that feedback in future assignments. For example, if you read consistent comments about a need for more research, then you may want to consider including more than enquiry in future assignments.

Using Feedback from Multiple Sources

You might go feedback from more one reader as you lot share different stages of your revised draft. In this situation, you may receive feedback from readers who do non understand the assignment or who lack your involvement with and enthusiasm for it.

You lot need to evaluate the responses you receive according to two important criteria:

Determine if the feedback supports the purpose of the assignment.

Determine if the suggested revisions are appropriate to the audience.

Then, using these standards, accept or refuse revision feedback.

Self – practice Exercise 12.seven

Consider the feedback y'all received from the peer review and all of the revision exercises throughout this department. Compile a last draft of your revisions that you tin use in the next section to consummate your final edits.

Key Takeaways

• Revising and editing are the stages of the writing process in which y'all meliorate your work before producing a concluding draft.
• Unity in writing means that all the ideas in each paragraph and in the entire essay conspicuously belong together and are bundled in an order that makes logical sense.
• Coherence in writing means that the writer's wording conspicuously indicates how one idea leads to some other within a paragraph and betwixt paragraphs.
• Transitional words and phrases finer make writing more coherent.
• Writing should be clear and concise, with no unnecessary words.
• Effective formal writing uses specific, appropriate words and avoids slang, contractions, clichés, and overly general words.
• Peer reviews, washed properly, tin give writers objective feedback near their writing. It is the writer's responsibleness to evaluate the results of peer reviews and incorporate just useful feedback.

12.two Editing and Developing a Final Draft of a Enquiry Paper

Learning Objectives

• Edit your paper to ensure that language, citations, and formatting are correct

Given all the time and effort y'all have put into your research newspaper, you will want to brand sure that your concluding draft represents your best piece of work. This requires taking the time to revise and edit your newspaper carefully.

You may feel like you need a pause from your newspaper earlier you edit it. That feeling is understandable, so you want to exist sure to leave yourself plenty fourth dimension to consummate this of import stage of the writing process. This section presents a number of opportunities for you to focus on unlike aspects of the editing process; equally with revising a draft, you should approach editing in unlike stages.

Some of the content in this department may seem repetitive, but again, it provides yous with a chance to double-check whatsoever revisions you lot have made at a detailed level.

Editing Your Draft

If you have been incorporating each set of revisions as Mariah and Jorge accept, yous accept produced multiple drafts of your writing. So far, all your changes accept been content changes. Perhaps with the help of peer feedback, you accept made sure that you sufficiently supported your ideas. You lot accept checked for problems with unity and coherence. You have examined your essay for word choice, revising to cutting unnecessary words and to replace weak wording with specific and appropriate wording.

The next step later on revising the content is editing. When you edit, y'all examine the surface features of your text. You examine your spelling, grammar, usage, and punctuation. You too make sure you use the proper format when creating your finished consignment.

Tip

Editing takes time. Be sure to budget time into the writing process to complete additional edits afterward revising. Editing and proofreading your writing helps you create a finished work that represents your best efforts. Here are a few more than tips to recall almost your readers:

Readers do not notice right spelling, merely theydo notice misspellings.

Readers look by your sentences to get to your ideas—unless the sentences are awkward, poorly synthetic, and frustrating to read.

Readers discover when every sentence has the same rhythm as every other sentence, with no variety.

Readers practice not cheer when you lot utilisethere,their, andthey're correctly, but they notice when you exercise not.

Readers will notice the intendance with which you lot handled your consignment and your attention to detail in the delivery of an fault-gratis document.

Existence Articulate and Concise

Some writers are very methodical and painstaking when they write a first typhoon. Other writers unleash a lot of words in society to get out all that they feel they need to say. Exercise either of these methods match your style? Or is your composing style somewhere in betwixt? No matter which clarification all-time fits you, the first draft of almost every slice of writing, no affair its author, can be made clearer and more than concise.

If yous accept a tendency to write too much, you will need to wait for unnecessary words. If you have a trend to be vague or imprecise in your wording, you will need to discover specific words to replace any overly general language.

Identifying Wordiness

Sometimes writers use too many words when fewer words will entreatment more than to their audience and better fit their purpose. Hither are some common examples of wordiness to look for in your draft. Eliminating wordiness helps all readers, considering it makes your ideas clear, direct, and straightforward.

• Sentences that brainstorm withThere isorThere are
• Wordy . There are two major experiments that the Biology Department sponsors.
• Revised . The Biology Department sponsors ii major experiments.
• Sentences with unnecessary modifiers
• Wordy . Two extremely famous and well-known consumer advocates spoke eloquently in favour of the proposed of import legislation.
• Revised . Two well-known consumer advocates spoke in favour of the proposed legislation.

Sentences with deadwood phrases that add together little to the pregnant. Exist judicious when yous use phrases such asin terms of,with a heed to,on the subject field of,as to whether or not,more or less,equally far every bit…is concerned, and similar expressions. Y'all can usually discover a more than straightforward way to state your point.

• Wordy . As a world leader in the field of green technology, the company plans to focus its efforts in the expanse of geothermal energy. A report as to whether or not to use geysers equally an energy source is in the procedure of preparation.
• Revised . Equally a earth leader in green technology, the company plans to focus on geothermal energy. Researchers are preparing a study almost using geysers as an energy source.

Sentences in the passive vox or with forms of the verbto be : Sentences with passive voice verbs oft create confusion because the subject of the judgement does non perform an action. Sentences are clearer when the subject field performs the action and is followed by a stiff verb. Use strong active voice verbs in identify of forms ofto be, which can lead to wordiness. Avoid passive voice when you can.

• Wordy . Information technology might perhaps be said that using a GPS device is something that is a benefit to drivers who have a poor sense of direction.
• Revised . Using a GPS device benefits drivers who have a poor sense of direction.

Sentences with constructions that can be shortened

• Wordy . The e-volume reader, which is a recent invention, may become as commonplace as the cell phone. My over-60 uncle bought an e-book reader, and his wife bought an e-book reader, likewise.
• Revised . The due east-volume reader, a contempo invention, may become as commonplace as the cell phone. My over-60 uncle and his wife both bought e-book readers.

Choosing Specific, Appropriate Words

Most essays at the post-secondary level should be written in formal English suitable for an academic situation. Follow these principles to be certain that your word option is appropriate. For more information about word choice, seeChapter 2: Working with Words: Which Discussion Is Right?

Avoid slang . Find alternatives tobummer,kewl, andrad.

Avoid language that is overly coincidental . Write most "men and women" rather than "girls and guys" unless y'all are trying to create a specific outcome. A formal tone calls for formal linguistic communication.

Avoid contractions . Usedo not in identify ofdon't,I am in place ofI'm,have not in place ofhaven't, and and then on. Contractions are considered casual oral communication.

Avoid clichés . Overused expressions such asgreen with envy,face the music,better late than never, and like expressions are empty of significant and may not entreatment to your audience.

Be careful when y'all use words that audio akin but have different meanings . Some examples areallusion/illusion; complement/compliment; quango/counsel; concurrent/sequent; founder/flounder; and historic/historical. When in doubt, check a dictionary.

Choose words with the connotations you want . Choosing a discussion for its connotations is as of import in formal essay writing as it is in all kinds of writing. Compare the positive connotations of the wordproud and the negative connotations ofarrogant andcomplacent.

Use specific words rather than overly general words . Notice synonyms foraffair,people,dainty,skilful,bad,interesting, and other vague words. Or use specific details to brand your verbal meaning articulate.

Now read the revisions Mariah made to make her third paragraph clearer and more than concise. She has already incorporated the changes she made to improve unity and coherence.

Self – practice Do 12.8

Answer the following questions about Mariah's revised paragraph:

Read the unrevised and the revised paragraphs aloud. Explicate in your ain words how changes in word option have affected Mariah's writing.

Do you agree with the changes that Mariah fabricated to her paragraph? Which changes would y'all keep and which were unnecessary? Explain. What other changes would yous have fabricated?

What effect does removing contractions and the pronoun ^you have on the tone of the paragraph? How would yous characterize the tone now? Why?

Now render once more to your essay in progress. Read advisedly for bug with discussion choice. Exist certain that your typhoon is written in formal language and that your word option is specific and appropriate.

Self – practise Exercise 12.nine

R eturn in one case more to the showtime draft of the essay you have been revising. Check it for unnecessary words.

Try making your sentences as concise as they can be.

Brief Punctuation Review

Throughout this book, you have been presented with a number of tables containing transitional words. Table 12.2: Punctuating Transitional Words and Phrases shows many of the transition words you have seen organized into unlike categories to help you know how to punctuate with each one.

Table 12.2: Punctuating Transitional Words and Phrases

Joining Independent Clauses (coordination)
ii IND	Coordinating conjunctions: FANBOYS		Conjunctive adverbs and other transitional expressions
IND ; IND	IND , ____ IND		IND . _____, IND or IND ; _____, IND
	for		accordingly		after all
	and		after a while		also
	nor		anyhow		as a result
	just		at any rate		at the same time
	or		too		consequently
	withal		for instance		for example
	and then		furthermore		hence
			henceforth		however
			in addition		indeed
			in fact		in other words
			in detail		instead
			in the first place		likewise
			meanwhile		moreover
			nevertheless		nonetheless
			on the contrary		on the other mitt
			otherwise		still
			then		therefore
			thus
Forming Dependent Clauses (subordination)
IND + DEP or DEP , IND
subsequently	although	equally		as if		every bit though
because	before	if		in order that		since
and then that	that	though		unless		until
when	whenever	where		wherever
*which	while	who		whom		whose

* This row contains relative pronouns, which may exist punctuated differently.

Joining Independent Clauses

In that location are 3 ways to join independent clauses. Past using a mix of all 3 methods and varying your transition words, yous will add complexity to your writing and amend the flow. Y'all volition too be emphasizing to your reader which ideas you lot desire to connect or to prove things like cause and effect or contrast. For a more detailed review of independent clauses, look back at Affiliate 3: Putting Ideas into Your Ain Words and Paragraphs. Option 1 By simply using a semicolon (;), you lot can make the ideas connect more than if you were to apply a period. If you are trying to reinforce that connectedness, use a semicolon because it is not equally stiff of a pause every bit a period and reinforces the link. Selection ii When you desire to link two independent sentences and increment the menses between ideas, y'all tin can add a comma and a coordinating conjunction betwixt them. With coordinating conjunctions (FANBOYS: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, and then), yous do non utilise a comma every time: you would only practice and then if what is on either side of the conjunction is a complete sentence not just a phrase. You lot would not put a comma if you are merely giving a list of ii items. For example:

Comma:Information technology is common cold outside, so I wore an extra warm coat.

No comma: It is cold exterior. I wore an extra warm coat and gloves.

The first example contains a complete judgement (independent clause) on either side of the conjunction and so. Just the conjunction past itself or just a comma past itself is not strong enough to join two independent clauses. However, if y'all put the two together with so, you lot can link the ii. In the 2nd instance, and is simply connecting ii noun phrases: warm glaze and gloves. What comes after the conjunction is non a consummate sentence, then yous would not add a comma. To check if there is a complete, contained clause, ask yourself, "Tin that role stand by itself every bit a complete sentence?" In the case of the no comma case, gloves is what comes after the comma. That is not a consummate sentence, but a noun: that means it is function of a list and is not a complete sentence = no comma. The point of these examples was to bear witness y'all that yous take to be conscientious how you use commas and conjunctions. As easy as it would be to just always toss in a comma, doing so would misfile your reader as what is and is non role of a listing and what ideas are joined. Choice 3 Your third choice is to join two contained clauses with a conjunctive adverb or another transition word. These words are very useful because they conspicuously evidence your reader how y'all would like your ideas to connect. If you wanted to emphasize contrasting ideas, you would use on the other hand or however. If y'all wanted to show cause and effect, you could utilise as a result. Refer to the tables you accept seen in other chapters to make sure you lot are using the transitions you actually hateful to exist using; then, bank check Table 12.2 to confirm how you should punctuate information technology. Afterwards your first independent clause, you tin choose to either employ a period or a semicolon, again depending on how much of a link y'all want to bear witness. You may also want to consider how many long sentences you accept used prior to this. If you use a lot of complicated sentences, y'all should probably use a catamenia to let your reader to have a interruption. You must likewise remember to include a comma later on the transition give-and-take.

Flow:It is cold exterior. Therefore, I wore an extra warm coat.

Semicolon: It is cold outside; therefore, I wore an extra warm coat.

Joining Dependent Clauses

If one of the clauses in a sentence is independent and can stand on its own, just the other is not, you accept to construct the sentence a fiddling differently. Whenever you add a subordinating conjunction or relative pronoun to an contained sentence, you create a dependent clause—one that can never stand up alone. In the examples below, notice that when the independent clause comes commencement, it is stiff enough to conduct the dependent clause at the end without any helping punctuation. However, if yous want the dependent clause outset, you must add a comma between it and the independent clause: the dependent clause is not stiff plenty to back up the contained clause after without a fiddling help. In the examples beneath, the independent clauses are double underlined and the dependent clause has a unmarried underline.

IND first:I wore an extra warm glaze every bit it is cold exterior.

DEP first: As information technology is cold outside, I wore an extra warm coat.

Tip

If you want to start a sentence with Considering, you lot need to make sure there is a second one-half to that sentence that is contained. A Considering (dependent) clause can never stand by itself.

At the lesser on Table 12.2, you can see a listing of five dependent markers that can be used a footling differently. These are relative pronouns, and when you apply them, you demand to ask yourself if the information is 100 percent necessary for the reader to sympathise what yous are describing. If it is optional, you can include a comma before the relative clause even if it comes after the independent clause.

Not – essential:Every bit information technology is cold exterior, I wore an extra warm coat, which was bluish.

Essential: My coat which is blueish is the 1 I vesture when it is really cold outside.

In the non – essential case, the fact that the coat was warm was probably more important than that the glaze was blue. The data that the coat is blue probably would not brand a difference in keeping the person warm, then the information in that relative clause is not terribly important. Adding the comma before the clause tells the reader it is extra information. In the essential example, the use of the aforementioned clause without a preceding comma shows that this information is important. The writer is implying he has other coats that are not as warm and are non bluish, so he is emphasizing the importance of the bluish glaze. These are the only five subordinators, or relative pronouns, for which you can do this; every other 1 needs to follow the previous explanation of how to use these dependent transition words. If y'all practise decide to add a comma with one of the relative pronouns, you need to think critically virtually whether or not that description is completely essential.

Using any of these sentence joining strategies is helpful in providing sentence diverseness to help your reader stay engaged and reading attentively. By following these punctuation rules, you will too avoid creating judgement fragments, run-on sentences, and comma splices, all of which improves your terminate product.

Given how much work yous accept put into your inquiry paper, you will want to check for whatsoever errors that could distract or confuse your readers. Using the spell checking characteristic in your discussion processing plan can be helpful, information technology should not supplant a full, careful review of your document. Be certain to check for whatsoever errors that may accept come up ofttimes for you in the by. Use Checklist 12.4: Editing Your Writing to help you as you edit.

Checklist 12.4 : Editing Your Writing

Grammar

Are some sentences actually sentence fragments?

Are some sentences run-on? How can I correct them?

Do some sentences need conjunctions between independent clauses?

Does every verb agree with its discipline?

Is every verb in the correct tense?

Are tense forms, especially for irregular verbs, written correctly?

Accept I used field of study, object, and possessive personal pronouns correctly?

Have I usedwho andwhom correctly?

Is the ancestor of every pronoun clear?

Practise all personal pronouns agree with their antecedents?

Have I used the right comparative and peak forms of adjectives and adverbs?

Is it clear which word a participial phrase modifies, or is information technology a dangling modifier?

Judgement Construction

Are all my sentences uncomplicated sentences, or practice I vary my sentence structure?

Have I chosen the best analogous or subordinating conjunctions to join clauses?

Have I created long, overpacked sentences that should exist shortened for clarity?

Do I encounter any mistakes in parallel structure?

Punctuation

Does every sentence finish with the correct end punctuation?

Can I justify the utilise of every exclamation point?

Have I used apostrophes correctly to write all singular and plural possessive forms?

Take I used quotation marks correctly?

Mechanics and Usage

Tin can I observe whatsoever spelling errors? How tin I correct them?

Take I used capital letters where they are needed?

Have I written abbreviations, where allowed, correctly?

Can I find any errors in the use of commonly dislocated words, such as to/too/two?

Tip

Exist conscientious about relying besides much on spelling checkers and grammer checkers. A spelling checker cannot recognize that y'all meant to write principle but wrotemain instead. A grammar checker often queries constructions that are perfectly correct. The program does non understand your meaning; it makes its bank check against a general set of formulas that might not apply in each instance. If you employ a grammar checker, accept the suggestions that brand sense, but consider why the suggestions came up.

Tip

Proofreading requires patience; it is very easy to read by a mistake. Set your newspaper aside for at least a few hours, if not a day or more than, so your mind will residue. Some professional proofreaders read a text astern so they can concentrate on spelling and punctuation. Some other helpful technique is to slowly read a paper aloud, paying attention to every word, letter, and punctuation marking.

If you need additional proofreading assist, ask a reliable friend, classmate, or peer tutor to make a final laissez passer on your paper to await for anything y'all missed.

Formatting

Your finished consignment should exist properly formatted, following the way required of y'all. Formatting includes the style of the championship, margin size, page number placement, location of the author's name, and other factors. Your instructor or department may require a specific style to exist used. The requirements may be more detailed and rigid for research projects and term papers, which often observe the American Psychological Clan (APA) style guide, peculiarly when citations of sources are included.

To ensure the format is correct and follows whatever specific instructions, make a final check before you submit an assignment.

Self- practice Practice 12.ten

With the help of Checklist 12.4, edit and proofread your essay.

Checking Citations and Formatting

When editing a inquiry newspaper, it is also of import to bank check that you have cited sources properly and formatted your document according to the specified guidelines. There are two reasons for this. Beginning, citing sources correctly ensures that you requite proper credit to other people for ideas and information that helped you lot in your work. 2nd, using correct formatting establishes your paper every bit one pupil's contribution to the work adult by and for a larger academic community. Increasingly, American Psychological Association (APA) style guidelines are the standard for many academic fields. Utilize Checklist 12.5: Citations and Formatting to help.

Checklist 12.v : Citations and Formatting

Within the body of my paper, each fact or idea taken from a source is credited to the right source.

Each in-text citation includes the source author's name (or, where applicative, the organization proper noun or source title) and year of publication. I have used the correct format of in text and parenthetical citations.

Each source cited in the body of my paper has a respective entry in the references section of my paper.

My references department includes a heading and double-spaced alphabetized entries.

Each entry in my references department is indented on the 2d line and all subsequent lines.

Each entry in my references section includes all the necessary information for that source type, in the correct sequence and format.

My paper includes a championship page.

My paper includes a running head.

The margins of my paper are set up at one inch. Text is double spaced and prepare in a standard 12-point font.

For detailed guidelines on APA citation and formatting, seeChapter 9: Citations and Referencing.

Writing at Work

Following APA citation and formatting guidelines may crave fourth dimension and effort. Nevertheless, it is good practice for learning how to follow accepted conventions in whatsoever professional field. Many large corporations create a mode manual with guidelines for editing and formatting documents produced by that corporation. Employees follow the style manual when creating internal documents and documents for publication.

During the process of revising and editing, Jorge fabricated changes in the content and style of his paper. He also gave the paper a final review to check for overall correctness and, peculiarly, correct APA citations and formatting. Read the terminal draft of his paper.

With the help of Checklist 12.5, edit and proofread your essay.

Although you probably practise not want to await at your paper over again before you submit it to your teacher, accept the fourth dimension to do a final bank check. Since you have already worked through all of the checklists above focusing on certain aspects at once, working through one last checklist should confirm yous take written a strong, persuasive essay and that everything is the mode you want it to be. As actress insurance you have produced a stiff paper, you lot may even want someone else to double-check your essay using C hecklist 12.6: Final Revision. Then you can compare to see how your perceptions of your paper match those of someone else, essentially having that person act as the one who volition be grading your paper.

Checklist 12.six: Concluding Revision

First Revision ane : System
___	Do you lot show y'all empathise the consignment: purpose, audience, and genre?
___	Focus: Have you clearly stated your thesis (your controlling thought) in the commencement paragraph?
___	Does your thesis statement catch the reader's attention?
___	Unity: Write your opening and closing paragraphs and identify each topic sentence in between. Y'all should take a "mini essay" with several different principal points supporting your thesis.
___	Are your paragraphs organized in a logical style?
___ ___	Does each topic sentence (per paragraph) logically follow the one preceding information technology?
	Exercise y'all have several points to back up your thesis?
___ ___ ___	Check whether your paragraphs are organized according to a specific pattern.
	Would rearranging your paragraphs back up your thesis ameliorate?
	Take you lot provided a comprehensive determination to your essay? Does information technology summarize your main points (using different words)?
First Revision 2 : Paragraphs and Sentences
___ ___ ___ ___ ___   ___ ___ ___   ___   ___	Does each paragraph take main points and supporting details?
	Does each paragraph have only one main point?
	Is your arroyo or pattern used to develop your paragraph'south main point followed?
	Check that each sentence is relevant to the principal point of the paragraph.
	Are in that location several sentences giving details, facts, quotes, reasons, and arguments in each paragraph?
	Is each supporting detail specific, concrete, and relevant to the topic sentence?
	Does each sentence logically follow the preceding one?
	Have you used transitional words to assistance the reader follow your thoughts? If non, add them.
	Paragraph length: If too short, develop farther. If likewise long, break into smaller paragraphs or consolidate some sentences.
	Check your essay for tone and point of view.
2d Revision ane : Sentences and Usage
___ ___ ___ ___	Confirm that each sentence has a subject field and a verb.
	Revise fragments, splices, and run-on sentences.
	Check modifiers to run into if they have been put in unclear places.
	Do you have a variety of sentence structures? (elementary and complex)
___ ___   ___ ___ ___	Scan for subject-verb agreement in each judgement.
	Are yous consequent with your verb tenses? Bank check to make sure there are non any confusing or irrelevant tense changes.
	Brand sure that words in lists are in parallel forms.
	Think through your pronouns; what is each one referring to?
	Check for confusing "person" shifts within paragraphs. Keep the subjects consistent.
___ ___ ___ ___   ___	Identify all verbs and modify whatever that are passive to active.
	Use strong verbs non weak adverbs. Say something "is" not that it "may be."
	Cheque for wordiness.
	Scan to make sure you have not used the same word repeatedly in the same sentence and paragraph. Utilize a thesaurus.
	Expect for and eliminate clichés.
Second Revision 2 : Documentation
___ ___ ___ ___	Have you lot documented all your references?
	Have you lot used in text citations every time they were needed? Take you formatted all your citations correctly?
	Is your references' section complete and correct according to the JIBC APA Manner Guide.
2nd Revision 3 : Mechanics
___ ___	Check that all words and sentences are punctuated according to standard usage.
	Check for spelling and typographical errors.
Third Revision: Content
___ ___ ___ ___	Read your essay aloud. Do you believe what you have written?
	At this betoken do yous develop your decision-making idea in a mode that makes sense?
	Have yous provided enough groundwork data? Is information technology relevant/necessary?
	Take you primarily used paraphrasing every bit opposed to direct quotations?

You should now be confident y'all accept produced a stiff argument that is wonderfully constructed and that you lot will exist able to persuade your audition that your points and betoken of view are valid.

Central Takeaways

• During revising, you add, cut, move, or change information in guild to better content.
• During editing, you take a 2nd look at the words and sentences you used to express your ideas and ready whatever bug in grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure.
• Call back to upkeep fourth dimension for careful editing and proofreading. Use all available resources, including editing checklists, peer editing, and your institution's writing lab, to improve your editing skills.
• Organization in a inquiry newspaper ways that the argument proceeds logically from the introduction to the trunk to the conclusion. It flows logically from one point to the next. When revising a enquiry paper, evaluate the organization of the paper every bit a whole and the organization of private paragraphs.
• In a cohesive inquiry paper, the elements of the paper work together smoothly and naturally. When revising a inquiry paper, evaluate its cohesion. In particular, bank check that data from inquiry is smoothly integrated with your ideas.
• An effective enquiry paper uses a style and tone that are appropriately academic and serious. When revising a inquiry paper, bank check that the manner and tone are consequent throughout.
• Editing a research newspaper involves checking for errors in grammar, mechanics, punctuation, usage, spelling, citations, and formatting.

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Source: https://opentextbc.ca/writingforsuccess/chapter/chapter-12-peer-review-and-final-revisions/

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